Martini Mayhem

 

Jeeves’ Martini

as imagined by Richard Agler

Martinis, though rightly understood as classic cocktails, have changed over

the last hundred years. When Jeeves was mixing them for Bertie, the

quality of the gin, and therefore the proportion of gin to vermouth, was

different than it is today.

Still and all, there is no question that were he preparing a proper drink for

the young master, Jeeves would adopt current standards, quite likely, as

follows.

Ingredients

We begin with gin, the soul of the martini. A gentleman’s personal

gentleman would no more use another base spirit than he would

countenance a check-patterned suit, untrimmed facial hair, or purple socks.

A martini is purposefully strong, so gin in the 92-95 proof range is

optimum. There are numerous flavorful gins of lower alcohol content on

the market. They may be suitable for other cocktails, e.g., a gin and tonic or

negroni. (They may also be used as disinfectants.) All of them, however,

create inferior martinis.

There are also various types of gins available today, ranging from

traditional formulations to those from newer, “craft” purveyors. There is no

question that Jeeves would insist on a London Dry gin, though he might

also consider Plymouth, a close and pedigreed variation.

Vermouth, dry, is the martini’s next ingredient. We should pause here and

raise a glass to the genius, whose name is not known to us, but who was the

first to mix dry vermouth with gin and give us this iconic cocktail. Hear,

hear!

There is considerable folklore that prescribes the use of infinitesimal

amounts of vermouth—or even none at all—in the martini. Colorful as these

stories may be, a genuine cocktail, by definition, contains two or more

ingredients. Jeeves would never countenance the omission of vermouth. To

do so is the equivalent of drinking simple, chilled gin. You may find that

enjoyable, and I make no judgment, but it is not a martini.

Vermouth, for those who may be unfamiliar, is a type of wine fortified with

additional alcohol, herbs, and other ingredients. It typically has an ABV of

15–22%.

There are also different types of vermouth. Jeeves would undoubtedly

select one from the Continent, most likely from France or Italy. Vermouth

for a martini should be dry, not sweet, and based on white wine, not red.

A dash or two of orange bitters may also be added. It is difficult to imagine

Jeeves objecting to this.

Olives or a twist of lemon peel are considered appropriate garnishes. If

olives are used, by tradition, they should be odd in number, typically one or

three. Jeeves would no doubt look askance at stuffed olives. The

superfluous ingredients, e.g., blue cheese, anchovy paste, or whatever, are

fine in their proper place—but that place is not in a drink revered for its

purity.

The final ingredient is ice, which we shall address momentarily.

Shaker or Mixing Glass

Classical martini preparation is done in a mixing glass, with a stirring

spoon and a strainer for pouring. Interestingly, Jeeves is often portrayed

holding a cocktail shaker. It is difficult to know whether this is an

illustrator’s whim or simply the way the drink was prepared in his day.

Either vessel is suitable, but whichever is used, the martini, like every

spirits-only drink, is best when stirred, not shaken. (Much of the confusion

on this matter can be attributed to Ian Fleming’s James Bond, who, it

should be noted, was ordering vodka martinis and vespers. Enough said.)

The ingredients are poured into the ice-filled mixing glass or shaker, gin

first, vermouth next, and bitters, if desired, after that. Next, they are stirred

for approximately thirty seconds.

At this point, a certain degree of artistry is required. Stirring enables the ice

to dilute the gin and vermouth to a modest, but not excessive, degree.

Nothing is more disappointing than an over-diluted martini.

Since ice temperatures vary, as does the circumstantial rate at which it

melts, stirring duration needs to be carefully monitored. Jeeves doubtless

knew the characteristics of the ice he was using and, with customary skill,

would calculate the matter with precision.

Glassware

The martini loses much of its deliciousness if it is not served cold. Glasses

should be chilled in advance, and they should also be stemmed. Either the

familiar V-shape or a traditional coupe glass is acceptable. It is imperative,

however, that the glass be held by the stem, lest warming from the hand

cause the drink to lose this aspect of its essence. Jeeves would shudder at

such mistreatment.

A martini glass should hold between four and six ounces, no more. Avoid

oversized “martini” glasses. These are intended for larger cocktails that may

have the martini name in them, e.g., appletini, espresso martini, chocolate

martini, etc., but which are not martinis in any proper sense. The smaller

glass allows the drink to remain cold until you are ready for the next one.

Proportions and Serving

Three ounces of gin, a capful (1/3 oz.) of vermouth, and a dash or two of

orange bitters are what I imagine Jeeves would use today. Stir the

ingredients with the ice, pour into the chilled glass, garnish with olive or

twist, and serve.

It will give satisfaction.

© 2025 Richard Agler

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